I just realized that, ironically, it's been a year since my last post. So much has happened to me during this time, that it bears some explaining. I'm not sure if anyone I know personally will even read this, but regardless, it's my hope that anyone facing health challenges will be encouraged by these words.
As some of you know, I have been dealing with some major health issues. I have had 3 surgeries in the last 3 years, along with an assortment of ailments like IBS, diverticulitis, and endometriosis.
Normally, on this blog, I discuss magic and spirituality -- but the subject of my health is unavoidable. It has affected every area of my life imaginable.
My health has steadily declined over the last 5 years. I am in constant pain everyday -- my arms, legs, hands, feet and back in particular. My mobility has become severely limited. I walk with a cane and need a wheelchair when going out to places where walking is necessary -- I just plain can't do it. So I get one of those cool placards that enables us to get all the prime parking spots. Often times, I need help to shower and get dressed, along with help with the housework. This has been difficult for someone like me, who has always been so independent, but I have come to accept what is.
All this time, I have been told that I have Fibromyalgia. In fact, 2 seperate Rheumatologists diagnosed me -- but my higher self knew better. This underscores the importance of daily self inquiry and being tuned in through prayer and meditation. So I kept pushing for more answers, going to multiple doctors -- all of them insisting that all I had was Fibromyalgia, until finally, a test that revealed what I had sensed for so long-- something seriously wrong. An abnormal MRI of my brain that showed several lesions -- in other words, Multiple Sclerosis.
I have known for a couple of months now, and have debated whether or not to let everyone know. I am still waiting for my appointment with the Neurologist to get an official diagnosis, but all the hallmarks of MS are there -- the issues with balance and coordination, frequent migraines, tingling, pain and numbness in my hands and feet, the necessity of using a cane to walk, and difficulty doing most normal things, that when healthy, we all take for granted.
I just want to get all this out of the way, so I can get back to writing about spirituality and magic -- but I felt it was necessary to explain my absence and what I have been dealing with on a daily basis. In spite of my health issues, I have found ways and methods of continuing to accomplish my spiritual goals. Regardless of health problems, I must finish what I started. Those of you on the same path will understand the importance of this. It's an inner urging that, in spite of all the pain and illness, keeps telling me to go forward as best as I can manage. I have come too far along the path of initiation to just give up.
Now that that's out of the way -- more posts about magic, Kabbalah, and spirituality will be forthcoming. The fact that I have MS is just a higher difficulty level, much like a video game. However, that doesn't mean everything is going to be about my illness, or else it will totally change the context of this blog. I simply want to prove to, not only all of you reading, but myself, that in spite of having health issues and being compromised physically, one can accomplish great and wonderful things for themselves and others.
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