Lots has happened since my last post. I've begun a new course of study into Hermetic Magic. Actually, not exactly new. The magical practice part of it is for me, but the precepts behind it I learned some time ago.... guess I need to back track.
I began my magical career as it were, with Southern folk magic, or Hoodoo. It mainly consists of working with herbs, roots, oils, candles and specially drawn seals directed towards a specific purpose. For instance, getting a job or finding love. It's a very focused and direct way of addressing the spirits or saints to request their help for virtually any reason you can think of.
Hoodoo was something that I took to very easily and was successful at almost immediately. Marie Laveau was a sort of inspiration to me, as she was a hairdresser, like myself, and she is one of my "ancestors" that I honor. I began at the age of 16, and by my 30's, I was at expert mode. Banishings were my specialty. A friend joked that the mob had nothing on me when it came to making people disappear! But to be honest, I was bored.
I needed a challenge -- something to stimulate me. By this time I had already began daily devotions to Isis on the recommendation of a psychic who told me she saw Isis with me and that Isis was waiting for me to accept her. Once I did, all sorts of experiences and opportunities started developing. I fell in love with Isis! I had never experienced such joy and ecstasy in my magical practice before! It was like I became Isis and it was awesome!
Under the tutelage of Isis, Thoth, and Anubis, my magical abilities increased to the point where I no longer really needed any sort of herbs, oils, or candles. I could simply think on a thing, or a situation, and it would come to pass.
Through Thoth, I was led to study the Hermetica, a book attributed to Hermes Trismegistus, the Greek god of writing and magic. In Hellenistic Egypt, the Greeks worshipped both Hermes and the Egyptian god of writing and magic, Thoth as one god.
The Hermetica explores how we were created, the mind of God, (as well as that can be put into words anyway), and what we are here to do. It's all outlined. The whole process of creation: birth, life, death and re-birth.
Isis served as the great gateway for me, onto new paths and new life experiences. I joined the O.T.O. given that the rituals included the Egyptian gods that I had already worked with, and yet again, it would be another learning experience for me. I also thought it would help give me some structure. I have always been a solitary practitioner, so I thought joining a magical fraternity would perhaps instill discipline and that the initiations would help give me the much needed push so that I could progress faster. For some reason, I have this beat the clock mentality about reaching enlightenment. lol
But then... I met my husband. I was in Michigan and he was in Illinois. Long distance relationships are a bitch. Since I was possessed by an adventurous spirit at the time, I moved to Chicago. I realize now, that I was following the path of Isis, and if you know anything about the story of Isis and her wandering and tribulations, then you know that I had one hell of a road ahead of me....
I arrived in Chicago the week before Christmas 2006, hopeful -- but I did have a weird sense that it was not to be my "forever home"*. I initially started looking for work as a stylist. I had been a successful stylist in Michigan for 10 years, but every place I went to wanted someone with a clientele, but my clientele was back home in Michigan over 200 miles away. After 2 months of continuous salon scouring, I said screw it. I'll just work retail or whatever else I can do. No dice. No one would even call me for an interview! Of course I was using my magic along side my job hunting. I had like 3 different versions of my resume. I even resorted to leaving off my 4 year college education, so I wouldn't appear over qualified.
Finally after many tears, being stressed to the point of wanting to just say "Fuck it, I can't do this!", cursing the gods and asking them why they had abandoned me, many days of eating hot dogs or noodles, and being hungry as hell, I finally got a job at Sally's Beauty Supply, based on my Cosmetology license. Good thing I picked up a trade after college!
I was being tested BIG time! It's like all the mojo I was give was "poof" gone! My calls for help fell on deaf ears. It was like Isis said, "Hey, did you enjoy all that fabulous power I gave you before? Good." and then BAM! Ooooo I was so mad at her! I had a talk with her and said, "Look, I respect you, and I love you, and I thank you for all the blessings you have given me. I realize that I must be tested. That I cannot be given help every time I ask for it. That I must earn things, but all I was asking for was help to get a job so that I could help pay our bills. I wasn't asking for diamonds or a fur coat. That was really shitty!"
Message received. She never played that shit again, and I think she respected me a lot more, because now she saw me as an equal and not as a supplicant. "Equal?!" you say. Yes!! We too are gods! But there is a caveat to this. You're not automatically crowned King or Queen without doing any work on yourself. You do have to earn it, as I mentioned earlier. That's why I got away with confronting Isis, otherwise I don't think that would have gone over so well!
That's what we are here to learn my brothers and sisters. The gods/God want us to learn that we are here to create in the microcosm -- you know "As above, so below."? That's what that really means! We are here to do, unite (sex), create.
And it wasn't as if I didn't try on my own first. I don't use magic as a crutch -- ever. Just because I know how. It's important to prove to yourself that you can achieve goals because it helps build confidence. That was the point. Isis pushed me to the point where I got pissed and confronted her without fear. That bullshit about fearing God is just that. Respect YES -- fear, NO -- never!
*My feeling was to prove correct. After exactly 2 years, my husband and I moved to back to Michigan.
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