Where You At?

It has been quite awhile since my last post. I've been doing A LOT of reading, research, inner assessment and analysis. At some juncture, I may put together a reading list. Not to encourage others to believe as I do, but to perhaps lend a hand to anyone who may be in search of a more complete picture of the Creation and our role in it. I warn you though, I read about a lot of varying belief systems. Mainly because it's my wish to obtain as full of a picture as possible.

Inner analysis is never a fun task, but it is indeed a necessary one if you hope to advance both inwardly and outwardly in your life path and the world at large. It's a tricky thing, fraught with danger. Not to over dramatize the process, but it really is a matter of tearing oneself down to the core and then a further process of putting yourself back together. No one likes  to look at or admit their frailties. Then there is the danger of focusing in on them to the extent that you miss the forest for the trees. This is where a guide is needed -- your Holy Guardian Angel (HGA), spirit guide, ascended master, or whomever it is that you trust to help you sort through the rubble and dross to find the gold as it were. If you don't know who your guardian or HGA is, or if you don't have a spiritual or earthly teacher who can help support and guide you, I highly suggest that you that you establish such a relationship before embarking on any sort of deep inner analysis. Without such a trusted partner in place, you open yourself up to potentially a very depressed state of hopelessness from which you might be unable to extricate yourself alone. To be sure, you will experience a very low state, even with a guide or teacher. They cannot and will not shield you from this. It's just something that you have to experience in order to truly learn and grow. That's the unavoidable bummer stuff, but then comes the great stuff afterward -- the gold underneath the dross; the alchemical process that quite honestly sucks, but then when the gold of your true self and universal truth emerges.... man!


This is a process I started some time ago, but due to health issues I was unable to continue for a time. I was stuck and it really sucked to be quite honest. I knew there was more to be done and was simply unable to keep going. So I read voraciously and took a cue from Abramelin  -- "Enflame thyself with prayer". Inwardly, if you are completely honest with yourself, you know you're in a shitty state and either you will fight to go forward and emerge or you will stay stuck. It's your choice. Some stay stuck because for them it is easier than to continue or in error you may get to a place where you think you have effectively dealt with all your inner junk, but then there will come a little reminder to put you back in your place! The process is slow. There is no "instant enlightenment". That's a ploy to sell books or attain followers. Enlightenment is not an ever abiding blissful state where you are always happy. That's just bullshit. In fact, it's can be a bit of a let down for some who were under the misassumption stated previously. It's not even a big "bam" event, really. It's just a sort of  "Ah, now I get it" sort of event where a lot of things that you learned previously start to fall into place and connect.

You'll notice that I used the word enlightenment. In case you haven't caught on, that is what this process is, but some may not be aware of this because enlightenment has largely been portrayed as something it is not. There are no flashes of insight that answer every question you've ever had. Even if you've attained the oft lauded Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel, you have not made it yet and you still have LOTS of work to do. "You just haven't earned it yet, baby." It is what it is folks. Your HGA is not going to give you all the answers and I have news for you -- if you think that some "benevolent" force has just given you all the answers, think again.... "you better check yoself before you wreck yoself" -- seriously. You may be under the influence of something presenting itself as something that it is not. Something quite un-benelovent or even downright nefarious. You have to find the answers and put things together on your own and likewise, I'm not going to give you the answers here, so no spoilers! When you first experience enlightenment, it's tempting to want to tell others what you've found at the top of the mountain, but you must keep in mind that each is on their own path and must find their own ultimate truth. By the way, I'm not blogging about this to brag or to show off. Only to help clarify what enlightenment is, what it's not, and some tips for your journey. This is not for everyone by the way. If you are truly content with yourself and your life I would totally advise against this process. It's tough and it sucks and I am not understating this. I did it because I knew there were things I wanted to correct about myself and because I knew that "the truth was out there". Actually, that's a lie. The truth really is within yourself. If you are seeking it from someone else or from a source outside of yourself, you have indeed missed the forest for the trees and you're wasting your time -- just sayin'. Enlightenment does not bestow perfection either, it is an ongoing process of evolution and many enlightened people still possess egocentric flaws. It's the paradox of exisiting as a spiritual being in a physical realm and what Crowley, for instance meant when he said that he returned to don the persona of "Aleister Crowley". We still retain the ego in order to interact with the everything in the physical realm. It's the awareness of this that separates the enlightened from the un-enlightened.

The key is to check, check again and then re-check. I am a skeptic by nature, so I do this a lot! I ask my HGA tons of questions. Sometimes he answers directly, other times I get replies through "synchronatic" events. Always check your progress, assess how you're feeling, why you're feeling the way you do, and how to take what you have learned thus far and apply it to any given circumstance. You may have heard of the term "armchair magician".  Likewise there are "armchair mystics". It's no good attaining knowledge and then only keeping it locked away. You must put it to use. As Aleister Crowley said, "Success be thy proof". What is working for you? What isn't? Why? Always take stock of yourself. It sounds self centered, but it must be done. If more people would take stock of themselves and operate through this self awareness, the world would be a much different place!